hate the smoke, love the smoker

Since the smoking ban in restaurants and bars went into effect last year something interesting has happened. The second hand smoke has been pushed out of the confines of the bar and grill and out into the general public. Every bar and eatery scrambled to set up "patio seating" which in some cases meant as little as putting a rope or chain up around the group of smokers outside the front or side door all the way to constructing elaborately themes open air patios on annexed sections of the parking lot for food and beverage service. The Onion did a whole section on smoking around the twin cities last week. It had maps and everything.

Here's what I have noticed, though. We have effectively moved the smoking section (which was a flawed notion to begin with) from the inside where it affected the patrons and employees of said establishments to the outside where it affects mostly non-patrons and those patrons who may have been silly enough to prefer eating in the "fresh" open air. Whats better, down town where the bars only have frontage on sections of sidewalk, they have turned every available space into "outdoor patio seating" to accomodate smokers. In many cases, this means putting tables and chairs full of smokers on the very same sidewalks that anyone who is a pedestrian must use if they want to get from point A to point B. So now you don't have to wade through smokers to get from the bathroom to the bar but you do have to wade through the smokers if you want to get from the bookstore to the bus stop. As if bus stops weren't bad enough with their own smokers (why does everyone who rides the bus smoke???).

Some might say, "Exactly! Let the people smoke in the bars!" but to that I say, "No no no, we just haven't gone far enough. If we're going to ban smoking, lets do it right and ban smoking in public completely." After all, if all smoking in public is illegal it is more easily policed and enforced. No more effing butts all over the place, no more homeless people bumming smokes off you while you're trying to eat your lunch outside (in the new smoking section, apparently), no jerk-off Trump wannabe walking down wind with his stench-ass cigar.

We don't allow shitting in public and that doesn't even cause cancer or really have any affect on bystanders (other than the unpleasant odor) provided it is cleaned up within a reasonable amount of time. There's no shitting in public lobby, though, so I don't think we'll see it happen anytime soon.

Love the smoker but hate the smoke? No, I say where there's smoke, there's smokers. Can't exactly have one without the other. It's not my fault they got their stupid ass hooked on something that's legal. They don't have any right to smoke any more than I have a right to eat cheese curls. If you want to let people smoke then you have to let them get suicide assistance, euthanasia, and abortions at every mall. You also have to let them shoot people and spread disease without repercussions.

I say enough coddling the smokers. Where there's smoke, there's fire. It is utterly hypocritical to legalize tobacco smoking and alcohol but outlaw nacotics, hallucinogens, barbituates, abortion, gay marriage, prayer in schools, any of it. Splitting hairs.