Guts

as in, mine have been wiggly jiggly for the past couple days. See, we've been looking at life a lot lately and trying to make some big decisions. When you are/have a family it seems like there are no little decisions, but some decisions are a lot bigger than others.

Anyway, life is full of dependencies. You cannot do A until you have done B, cannot do B until you have done C and/or D. Etc. Or you don't know if A is an option until you know the state/status of B, C, and D situations/conditions. You get the picture. And of course, every item has its own dependencies and due dates and everything. Trying to keep them all straight, or just trying to get them to line up in the right order (or be able to stand waiting on one thing so you can tackle the next) can be a gut wrenching experience. Hence, my guts. And their wrenchiness.

It is no easier because of my seemingly innate desire to buffer the spaces between these things with some sort of comfort. Try to celebrate A before having to deal with B. My other half is the other way around, preferring to charge on to B at the very moment A is resolved and maybe grabbing a moment's respite somewhere along the way? Or perhaps at the end? Where/Whenever that might be?

As you can tell, I'm not going to go into great detail here, but just state that its really kinda crappy to have your isides so mixed up. On the one had, hooray! on the other hand, I wish I didn't have to think/deal with things.

in other super sappy parental emotional news, Spike Jonez is making a movie of Where the Wild Things Are and for some reason the trailer makes me feel like bursting into tears. Not becaus I'm sad but because watching it makes me feel like I'm getting a look into Felix's future, a look at a possible future Felix. I can totally see him as that little boy. Even today he was being a little wildthing. He so totally IS the boy from Where The Wild Things Are. It's bizarre. Watched the trailer twice, at different times, just to make sure I wasn't getting swept up in some sort of strange empathy/nostalgia wave or something. Nope. Same effect at different times, in different settings.

When does kid-stuff stop tugging at your heart strings? Ever?