It actually didn't rain yesterday. This situation has been rectified but the steady "light" downpour today, and if the rumors are true, tomorrow also.
Picked up dad at the airport. I spent as much time on various subways and trains as dad spent in the air. So now he's here, we've eaten some lunch, and he's going to finally try and get some sleep while I do our last load of laundry, finish packing, make other preparations.
I hear the snoring (no cpap) so I guess that means he's sleeping already.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Comeback kiddo
They arrived healthy and happy (and 20 minutes early!). Felix was once again the model airplane passenger for his age group and below. They should give some sort of frequently flier bonus points for that or something. Anyway, they got there safe and sound, went grocery shopping, and went to Gramoms and Poppas house. Felix gets on fabulously with his cousin Colin who is one or two years older than him. Its good to have cousins close to your age. Makes family gatherings more fun, I think.
I am in the midst of chaos. I have unpacked everything from its rightful place so that it can be put back away but into boxes instead of into closets and drawers. Andrea did lots before she left, but there's still lots of nitty and gritty to go. Tids and bits, as they say. Come up to the point where I have to guage, "Is it too early to pack this away yet? Mightn't I need some of that in the next few days?" But then its hard to not pack absolutely everything and live like squatters amid the boxes when you consider the type of schedule we have set up.
Ah...the chaos. Well planned chaos. Wish I was on the relaxing end like Andrea and Felix. Sure enough, I'll get there, sure enough. So it goes.
I am in the midst of chaos. I have unpacked everything from its rightful place so that it can be put back away but into boxes instead of into closets and drawers. Andrea did lots before she left, but there's still lots of nitty and gritty to go. Tids and bits, as they say. Come up to the point where I have to guage, "Is it too early to pack this away yet? Mightn't I need some of that in the next few days?" But then its hard to not pack absolutely everything and live like squatters amid the boxes when you consider the type of schedule we have set up.
Ah...the chaos. Well planned chaos. Wish I was on the relaxing end like Andrea and Felix. Sure enough, I'll get there, sure enough. So it goes.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
d-week
So here it is. A and Felix fly off tomorrow. In a week or two we will be back in the lower-upper-mid-center of the country. Seems fairly spatially accurate. Anyway, we won't be east coasters anymore, though it's hard to really feel like you are on the coast when you are constantly surrounded by buildings and people. No nice sandy shore lines (yes, we made it out to Jones Beach once and Coney Island, but living in Brooklyn does NOT come with that "island" feel).
Anyway, days are strictly numbered. Midwest, here we come...back. In a way is with the taste of defeat, but in others it is with the taste of victory. So it goes. So it goes.
Anyway, days are strictly numbered. Midwest, here we come...back. In a way is with the taste of defeat, but in others it is with the taste of victory. So it goes. So it goes.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
blogette
just a quick post: it seems incredible that the move is coming up so quickly. It went from months to weeks in what seems like no time at all. I guess this is the way of things. Sort of the same for any big event like a wedding, home purchase, or birth. You get ready for a long time and then suddenly, bam, the moment is upon you. That's sort of how it feels right now.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Modern convenience
I cannot WAIT to have a dishwasher, clothes washer, and dryer...not to mention a laundry room, real kitchen, and non-wood paneled bathroom (or other rooms, either).
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
mouthes of babes
During dinner Felix climbed into my lap. Andrea and I had finished and Felix was still toying with his dinner. He pulled his plate over in front of us and was fiddling with his fork. Suddenly, he looks back and up at me and lifts his plastic utensil and says, "I'm going to fork you up!"
Andrea and I could not hold back the laughter. If he was from New York it would have been something else perfectly.
Andrea and I could not hold back the laughter. If he was from New York it would have been something else perfectly.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Moved to Seattle?
So, since April 1 we have had 1 whole day of sunshine. Every other single day has been either partly cloudy, overcast, or rainy, with the majority of the days being rainy. I recall last year there being some rain in the spring, but nothing like this. It's starting to feel an awful lot like we've been transported to Seattle, minus all the greenery, and plus (I expect) about 9000 times the amount of dogshit on the sidewalks. I am only speculating on this last point because I imagine Seattlites to be wholly more conscientious about picking up after their dogs. No basis for that. I've only been there once, the weather was great, and I did not encounter any dog doo (and I walked everywhere on that trip, except for one brief and harrowing car ride from the airport).
So, yeah, been gray and cold and rainy (actually snowed yesterday). And I might add, it really sucks. So, not to be a gloomy gus, but it has been nothing but gloomy here, on top of everything else that goes on in this borough. It is coming up on a very active time of year, however, and it would be nice to be feeling all warm and sunshiny. I mean, seriously, with the amount of things we have up in the air, you'd think we were a family of sky-diving jugglers. Sigh.
Our family fortune cookie would read, "Major change is coming, but not in the weather. Button up!"
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, or just Easter. My mother asked me if Felix was going to get an "Easter Bunny Basket" which I guess is her way of trying to unreligiousify the idea of Easter in my mind. But the answer is yes, we are going to set him up with a little Easter basket with a couple treats. The odd thing is, since Easter is not nearly as commercial a holiday, it has not had much traction in our secular, non-TV influenced day to day living. You don't even get a day off from work, so there has been almost no reason for us to even think about Easter. But right now it would be nice to have a excuse to have a little change in the weekend, have a little extra treat like an Easter basket. Mom asked if Felix had been talking about Easter, to which I replied, "Uh...no. He doesn't know anything about it. We haven't been talking about it at all...hasn't really been on our radar." So, not only will Easter be a nice treat, it will also be mostly a surprise. And Felix likes surprises if they are good ones that involve little treats. So we'll outfit a little basket with some fake grass and some goodies. I suppose I might tell him some sort of story about the easter bunny or the origins of the holiday. Trying to explain the Jesus stuff would be way too complicated, so I'll probably stick to the historic rites of spring type stuff. We might color Easter eggs, too. Who knows. I'm sure Felix would love that.
One nice thing about celebrating Easter is that even in its fully celebrated form, it is not a majorly commercial holiday (beyond the confectioner market). There's no pressure to drop a lot of money on Easter presents or even, really, to have some fancy meal. A nice meal is good if you are having a big gathering, or if you want to just get out for a treat, but in general...Easter basket with some goodies, a couply little trinketty toys and plastic eggs, an easter egg hunt, and voila! Low impact holiday! Of course, you just have to deal with some places being closed. We don't usually go anywhere on Sundays except for the park and whatever shopping chores are leftover from Saturday.
At least the forecast for tomorrow is sunny, even though it will be cold. So there is that. Weather forecasts here seem to be more accurate than we used to see in the midwest. Not sure why. Maybe being on a island gives us more predictable forces than the anything goes climatology of the middle west. And not sure why it would even be considered the midwest since it is really just the middle. Minnesota should be called the upper middle, not the midwest, since it is, technically, at the topside of the middle, not the middle of the left side. And then the middle east isn't even in this hemisphere...wtf is that about? The middle west is Ohio to Nebraska and the middle east is Libya to Iran. Maybe that makes more sense...does being the midwest really mean that America's heartland is actually the very center of western civilization? Sounds nice, but not likely. Then you have to get into the semantic argument about whether "middle" equals "center" and if "center" refers to geographical, cultural, ideological, etc... Of course, New York and its New Yorkers would immediately take issue with that since everyone here knows that NYC is in fact the center of EVERYTHING. I mean, really, where would our economic crisis be without New York and Wall Street? Flounding, looking for its center...or maybe not even existing. Which is optimistic. i do believe that given the chance, American masters of finance would have come up with the same crap regardless of where they were based.
I guess I should read more history. I know Japan had their big bust and never fully recovered. But did anyone have a "Great Depression" like we did? And did they recover? Or is that what happened to all those hundreds of countries and societies whose names have faded into the dust. They couldn't have all disappeared due to being conquered by their neighbors. I bet thats what happened to the Incas and Mayans. High finance. Sub-prime mortgages and complex securitized financial instruments. Human sacrifice, basically.
Sigh.
Enough for one laundry-day.
So, yeah, been gray and cold and rainy (actually snowed yesterday). And I might add, it really sucks. So, not to be a gloomy gus, but it has been nothing but gloomy here, on top of everything else that goes on in this borough. It is coming up on a very active time of year, however, and it would be nice to be feeling all warm and sunshiny. I mean, seriously, with the amount of things we have up in the air, you'd think we were a family of sky-diving jugglers. Sigh.
Our family fortune cookie would read, "Major change is coming, but not in the weather. Button up!"
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, or just Easter. My mother asked me if Felix was going to get an "Easter Bunny Basket" which I guess is her way of trying to unreligiousify the idea of Easter in my mind. But the answer is yes, we are going to set him up with a little Easter basket with a couple treats. The odd thing is, since Easter is not nearly as commercial a holiday, it has not had much traction in our secular, non-TV influenced day to day living. You don't even get a day off from work, so there has been almost no reason for us to even think about Easter. But right now it would be nice to have a excuse to have a little change in the weekend, have a little extra treat like an Easter basket. Mom asked if Felix had been talking about Easter, to which I replied, "Uh...no. He doesn't know anything about it. We haven't been talking about it at all...hasn't really been on our radar." So, not only will Easter be a nice treat, it will also be mostly a surprise. And Felix likes surprises if they are good ones that involve little treats. So we'll outfit a little basket with some fake grass and some goodies. I suppose I might tell him some sort of story about the easter bunny or the origins of the holiday. Trying to explain the Jesus stuff would be way too complicated, so I'll probably stick to the historic rites of spring type stuff. We might color Easter eggs, too. Who knows. I'm sure Felix would love that.
One nice thing about celebrating Easter is that even in its fully celebrated form, it is not a majorly commercial holiday (beyond the confectioner market). There's no pressure to drop a lot of money on Easter presents or even, really, to have some fancy meal. A nice meal is good if you are having a big gathering, or if you want to just get out for a treat, but in general...Easter basket with some goodies, a couply little trinketty toys and plastic eggs, an easter egg hunt, and voila! Low impact holiday! Of course, you just have to deal with some places being closed. We don't usually go anywhere on Sundays except for the park and whatever shopping chores are leftover from Saturday.
At least the forecast for tomorrow is sunny, even though it will be cold. So there is that. Weather forecasts here seem to be more accurate than we used to see in the midwest. Not sure why. Maybe being on a island gives us more predictable forces than the anything goes climatology of the middle west. And not sure why it would even be considered the midwest since it is really just the middle. Minnesota should be called the upper middle, not the midwest, since it is, technically, at the topside of the middle, not the middle of the left side. And then the middle east isn't even in this hemisphere...wtf is that about? The middle west is Ohio to Nebraska and the middle east is Libya to Iran. Maybe that makes more sense...does being the midwest really mean that America's heartland is actually the very center of western civilization? Sounds nice, but not likely. Then you have to get into the semantic argument about whether "middle" equals "center" and if "center" refers to geographical, cultural, ideological, etc... Of course, New York and its New Yorkers would immediately take issue with that since everyone here knows that NYC is in fact the center of EVERYTHING. I mean, really, where would our economic crisis be without New York and Wall Street? Flounding, looking for its center...or maybe not even existing. Which is optimistic. i do believe that given the chance, American masters of finance would have come up with the same crap regardless of where they were based.
I guess I should read more history. I know Japan had their big bust and never fully recovered. But did anyone have a "Great Depression" like we did? And did they recover? Or is that what happened to all those hundreds of countries and societies whose names have faded into the dust. They couldn't have all disappeared due to being conquered by their neighbors. I bet thats what happened to the Incas and Mayans. High finance. Sub-prime mortgages and complex securitized financial instruments. Human sacrifice, basically.
Sigh.
Enough for one laundry-day.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Guts
as in, mine have been wiggly jiggly for the past couple days. See, we've been looking at life a lot lately and trying to make some big decisions. When you are/have a family it seems like there are no little decisions, but some decisions are a lot bigger than others.
Anyway, life is full of dependencies. You cannot do A until you have done B, cannot do B until you have done C and/or D. Etc. Or you don't know if A is an option until you know the state/status of B, C, and D situations/conditions. You get the picture. And of course, every item has its own dependencies and due dates and everything. Trying to keep them all straight, or just trying to get them to line up in the right order (or be able to stand waiting on one thing so you can tackle the next) can be a gut wrenching experience. Hence, my guts. And their wrenchiness.
It is no easier because of my seemingly innate desire to buffer the spaces between these things with some sort of comfort. Try to celebrate A before having to deal with B. My other half is the other way around, preferring to charge on to B at the very moment A is resolved and maybe grabbing a moment's respite somewhere along the way? Or perhaps at the end? Where/Whenever that might be?
As you can tell, I'm not going to go into great detail here, but just state that its really kinda crappy to have your isides so mixed up. On the one had, hooray! on the other hand, I wish I didn't have to think/deal with things.
in other super sappy parental emotional news, Spike Jonez is making a movie of Where the Wild Things Are and for some reason the trailer makes me feel like bursting into tears. Not becaus I'm sad but because watching it makes me feel like I'm getting a look into Felix's future, a look at a possible future Felix. I can totally see him as that little boy. Even today he was being a little wildthing. He so totally IS the boy from Where The Wild Things Are. It's bizarre. Watched the trailer twice, at different times, just to make sure I wasn't getting swept up in some sort of strange empathy/nostalgia wave or something. Nope. Same effect at different times, in different settings.
When does kid-stuff stop tugging at your heart strings? Ever?
Anyway, life is full of dependencies. You cannot do A until you have done B, cannot do B until you have done C and/or D. Etc. Or you don't know if A is an option until you know the state/status of B, C, and D situations/conditions. You get the picture. And of course, every item has its own dependencies and due dates and everything. Trying to keep them all straight, or just trying to get them to line up in the right order (or be able to stand waiting on one thing so you can tackle the next) can be a gut wrenching experience. Hence, my guts. And their wrenchiness.
It is no easier because of my seemingly innate desire to buffer the spaces between these things with some sort of comfort. Try to celebrate A before having to deal with B. My other half is the other way around, preferring to charge on to B at the very moment A is resolved and maybe grabbing a moment's respite somewhere along the way? Or perhaps at the end? Where/Whenever that might be?
As you can tell, I'm not going to go into great detail here, but just state that its really kinda crappy to have your isides so mixed up. On the one had, hooray! on the other hand, I wish I didn't have to think/deal with things.
in other super sappy parental emotional news, Spike Jonez is making a movie of Where the Wild Things Are and for some reason the trailer makes me feel like bursting into tears. Not becaus I'm sad but because watching it makes me feel like I'm getting a look into Felix's future, a look at a possible future Felix. I can totally see him as that little boy. Even today he was being a little wildthing. He so totally IS the boy from Where The Wild Things Are. It's bizarre. Watched the trailer twice, at different times, just to make sure I wasn't getting swept up in some sort of strange empathy/nostalgia wave or something. Nope. Same effect at different times, in different settings.
When does kid-stuff stop tugging at your heart strings? Ever?
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Laundry Post
I'm doing laundry right now. Everything seems to be ok with the house and boiler. My father in law and brother in law (not related) went to the house last night and we verified that nothing horrendous is/was about to happen, so they went home. Today FIL went back to get the boiler started. He tapped some relays and maybe unplugged and re-plugged the master relay and foosh, everything jumped back to life. He'll check back in a couple days to make sure the house is still standing. So, that's a load off our minds, but also gives us more reason to think and consider and plan for some other things in the near future, maybe. Thinking back on this, two years ago (our first spring in our new house) this same type of thing happened to us. There's even a post in the archives about it. I think it was in April of 2007 when one spring morning the furnace mysteriously was not on. I ended up calling the boiler guy at 6am and he walked me through getting it restarted (it was the flue damper switch that time...apparently we don't have one of those anymore???). About the same time of year, about the same type of situation. Maybe this sort of thing is common amongst 1 year old boilers. Maybe they build in a little 1 year timed defect to make sure you get your boiler checked out a year after it is installed? Naw. If they were going to do that they'd have it break something major so that you had to pay something... But still. Hmmm.
Weather here is nice, if a bit cool. Felix is amazing as ever. Still refuses to do #2 in anything except a diaper but we rarely have accidents with #1 or #2. work is going very well for me and Andrea is making adjustments and trying to figure out ways to keep her career from dying on the vine. Some weird things have happened there which I won't get into, but suffice it to say that clients are clients are clients, and as soon as you feel like you're committed to one course of action, something ALWAYS crops up to complicate things.
In general, there is not too much love lost between us and NYC anymore. When we came out here, I thought it was great to be here. All the options and all the convenience and everything. But for all of that, you eventually start to feel the hidden and not so hidden costs of such things. There are definite things I like about NYC and will probably miss regardless of where we end up in the future. But there are also a lot of not so nice things that come along with living here too. Someday I may catalog all of those things for your perusal. Not today. Right now I'm too busy trying to make lemonade.
Weather here is nice, if a bit cool. Felix is amazing as ever. Still refuses to do #2 in anything except a diaper but we rarely have accidents with #1 or #2. work is going very well for me and Andrea is making adjustments and trying to figure out ways to keep her career from dying on the vine. Some weird things have happened there which I won't get into, but suffice it to say that clients are clients are clients, and as soon as you feel like you're committed to one course of action, something ALWAYS crops up to complicate things.
In general, there is not too much love lost between us and NYC anymore. When we came out here, I thought it was great to be here. All the options and all the convenience and everything. But for all of that, you eventually start to feel the hidden and not so hidden costs of such things. There are definite things I like about NYC and will probably miss regardless of where we end up in the future. But there are also a lot of not so nice things that come along with living here too. Someday I may catalog all of those things for your perusal. Not today. Right now I'm too busy trying to make lemonade.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Deja Vu
First day of spring. What a day.
As it happens, we found out, again by accident, that something had gone kaflooey with our boiler in our house in Minneapolis. In this case we did NOT also find a house full of frozen pipes and radiators. No, we know quite certainly that the heat has been working up until at least last week some time. And the temps in minneapolis are predicted to be above freezing for the next week at least.
But again, it starts with someone reporting that something seems not right, then the prop. mgmt company sends someone over who comes back and says "Yeah, seems cold over there even though the thermostat is set at 60." Well, last time, over a year ago, they found everythign frozen solid and it took until I think just about this time last year for all the repairs to be completed. This time I sent my local representatives over and it seems like perhaps the damper safety relay got thrown or something. This happened on our last brand new boiler one night that it got particularly windy. So, hopefully my FIL can get it sorted out and make sure everything is in proper working order. Of course, we were alerted to all of this because the tenants were complaining of unexpectedly high heating bill. So, we were all set to hear "It's 900 degrees in the house!" but turns out no, its more like 50, which is OK for right now, but not OK in case it gets colder (which it is supposed to do by the end of next week). In anycase...had a good half day of deja vu of the worst kind.
I've been sucked into Twitter which is partly why there is so little happening here. Sorry. The problem is, Twitter is inane, yes, but its also incredibly easy. I can send txt messages from my blackberry while i ride the subway (though they get a jumbled and out of sequence). I can do it from my desk as I get ready to eat lunch. I can do it without turning on a PC, browsing to a web page, or logging on to anything. It's like the Flip video camera of blogging, but its more like micro blogging. The cross-platform nature of it is what so easily draws people in, even those of us who are not iPodites.
As it happens, we found out, again by accident, that something had gone kaflooey with our boiler in our house in Minneapolis. In this case we did NOT also find a house full of frozen pipes and radiators. No, we know quite certainly that the heat has been working up until at least last week some time. And the temps in minneapolis are predicted to be above freezing for the next week at least.
But again, it starts with someone reporting that something seems not right, then the prop. mgmt company sends someone over who comes back and says "Yeah, seems cold over there even though the thermostat is set at 60." Well, last time, over a year ago, they found everythign frozen solid and it took until I think just about this time last year for all the repairs to be completed. This time I sent my local representatives over and it seems like perhaps the damper safety relay got thrown or something. This happened on our last brand new boiler one night that it got particularly windy. So, hopefully my FIL can get it sorted out and make sure everything is in proper working order. Of course, we were alerted to all of this because the tenants were complaining of unexpectedly high heating bill. So, we were all set to hear "It's 900 degrees in the house!" but turns out no, its more like 50, which is OK for right now, but not OK in case it gets colder (which it is supposed to do by the end of next week). In anycase...had a good half day of deja vu of the worst kind.
I've been sucked into Twitter which is partly why there is so little happening here. Sorry. The problem is, Twitter is inane, yes, but its also incredibly easy. I can send txt messages from my blackberry while i ride the subway (though they get a jumbled and out of sequence). I can do it from my desk as I get ready to eat lunch. I can do it without turning on a PC, browsing to a web page, or logging on to anything. It's like the Flip video camera of blogging, but its more like micro blogging. The cross-platform nature of it is what so easily draws people in, even those of us who are not iPodites.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Day On
Or weekend on. Since A has started doing full days with Felix I've been trying to do more full-time weekends with him, though that's of course nearly impossible. Unless you can physically separate a toddler from the other parent, you will always get him demanding something from the other parent while you are trying to do 100% for him. Anyway, since this is a 3day weekend for me and many people, I'm getting an extra day. We all started it off by sleeping way in (9am!!!) which has NEVER happened. Pretty crazy.
Of course, that tends to throw a monkey in the works because with toddlers you also have to be careful of upsetting the delicately balanced schedule of daily events like nap times, etc. We are not Sears method people (let the kid set his own schedule! He knows when he's tired... HAHAHAHahahahahahahahha almost makes me cry how funny THAT is).
But in other news...how about that economy? Sheesh. I could use some stimulus right about now, not sure about all you folks. Alls I can say is we still have all our balls in the air, but taking time to stop and talk about them isn't really in the cards. I have just met my mixed metaphor quota.
Hope February finds everyone in good shape. If you haven't lost your job or your home, then good on ya! Looks like Minnesota is still in competition for the best worst place to live right now. Let me know if you can figure that one out.
Of course, that tends to throw a monkey in the works because with toddlers you also have to be careful of upsetting the delicately balanced schedule of daily events like nap times, etc. We are not Sears method people (let the kid set his own schedule! He knows when he's tired... HAHAHAHahahahahahahahha almost makes me cry how funny THAT is).
But in other news...how about that economy? Sheesh. I could use some stimulus right about now, not sure about all you folks. Alls I can say is we still have all our balls in the air, but taking time to stop and talk about them isn't really in the cards. I have just met my mixed metaphor quota.
Hope February finds everyone in good shape. If you haven't lost your job or your home, then good on ya! Looks like Minnesota is still in competition for the best worst place to live right now. Let me know if you can figure that one out.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Here we go.
Ok, silent long enough. Obama is in da house and he seems to mean business. Good. Go for it. I hope it works out ok for him and all of us. He's off to a good start.
I don't know what it is that is in Felix's food but the kid's hair grows so fast that we have to cut his bangs almost every week (it seems). He really does have a moppy head. His hair is thick, but straight, which is odd since neither one of us has straight hair.
I don't know what it is that is in Felix's food but the kid's hair grows so fast that we have to cut his bangs almost every week (it seems). He really does have a moppy head. His hair is thick, but straight, which is odd since neither one of us has straight hair.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
short story
just had to share this:
This morning Felix wanted to play at taking a nap (its his new favorite game in the morning...wake up and take a nap). He pointed and said he wanted me to lay down too. SO I did, and as soon as my head hit the pillow he said, "Daddy, story!" Ah ha! It was a trap.
I turned it around on him and said, "I want a nap. You tell me a story." So he thought for a second and then said:
Little boy
jump over
rainbow.
Little doggy
jump higher
over rainbow.
Fountain
jump that.
Felix jump that.
The end. (I added that part)
Sunday, January 04, 2009
empathy
In some ways, I feel like I've become rather cold or unempathic. When it comes to death, I'm very divided. When it comes to older people, understand and feel some remorse, or at least imagine what I think that someone who is close to that person might be feeling, and feel sympathetic. But it generally doesn't affect me directly, emotionally. When my uncle died this summer, I felt bad and sad, and really I felt bad for his daughters and wife who were part of his every day life and I felt bad for my parents and their siblings who were also very close to him. But I also felt detatched from it. I didn't burst into tears because I was overcome with grief. I wrote at length about my mixed feelings regarding his death and death in general.
However, when I hear about a relative stranger, or even a fictitious instance, of a child dying, I am tremendously emotionally affected. When Andrea and I watched Benjamin Button, at the end he dies, having finished his aging process and becoming a newborn baby. Even though we followed the story and understood that it was an old man drying, the imagery was that of a baby closing its eyes and stopping breathing (I'm starting to get a little choked just writing this sentance), and both Andrea and I were just sobbing and sobbing. Today I read about the death of John Travolta and Kelly Preston's son, Jett, and again just reading about it I had a very hard time keeping from bawling outloud. It makes SENSE to me, since one of the foremost events in my life right now is raising Felix. It just brings home the notion (not sure if I heard this somewhere and I'm paraphrasing or if I'm making this up, but I think it holds true, SHOULD hold true) that once you become a parent, every child becomes your child.
And perhaps its an evolutionary mechanism, even if it clearly does not work for everyone. After all, if evryone felt this way, things would be a lot different in a lot of ways.
However, when I hear about a relative stranger, or even a fictitious instance, of a child dying, I am tremendously emotionally affected. When Andrea and I watched Benjamin Button, at the end he dies, having finished his aging process and becoming a newborn baby. Even though we followed the story and understood that it was an old man drying, the imagery was that of a baby closing its eyes and stopping breathing (I'm starting to get a little choked just writing this sentance), and both Andrea and I were just sobbing and sobbing. Today I read about the death of John Travolta and Kelly Preston's son, Jett, and again just reading about it I had a very hard time keeping from bawling outloud. It makes SENSE to me, since one of the foremost events in my life right now is raising Felix. It just brings home the notion (not sure if I heard this somewhere and I'm paraphrasing or if I'm making this up, but I think it holds true, SHOULD hold true) that once you become a parent, every child becomes your child.
And perhaps its an evolutionary mechanism, even if it clearly does not work for everyone. After all, if evryone felt this way, things would be a lot different in a lot of ways.
Friday, December 26, 2008
don't get comfy
Two posts in two days...how likely is that to happen anymore? Not very...not unless its the holiday season and I might actually be able to grab the time and have the brain power to fuel it.
Just a quick thought today:
What could you do to improve your life immediately in some way, with the stipulation that a) it can't cost anything to you personally and b) you would and could actually do it and stick with it?
And I mean actually improve your life, not just something warm and fuzzy and unimportant? I know nobody really reads this outside a small circle, but just in case, please, use the comments section.
Consider this a twist on the "If you could do anything..." question. It's more of a "What can you possibly, realistically, do?" type question.
And of course, part 2 is, if you CAN think of something, why aren't you doing it yet? How do I know you aren't doing it? Well, I don't, but if it took you more than 5 seconds to pop out the answer, you probably aren't doing it.
Here's mine, sort of. I'm losing weight, and/or keeping it off. Though my day to day life doesn't REALLY feel like it is improved as a result, and I am not actually actively doing anything to make it happen (its just a result of our lifestyle which did undergo some relatively major changes since we found out Felix was coming). So, I really need to come up with some other things.
One other thing I'm doing is going to the company well and getting out as much training, etc, as I can that they will cover. This does immediately improve my life because it actually does help me do my job better and prepares me for whatever my next steps are. It also, I hope, causes my company to value me more because they are investing in me and they should be interested in protecting their investment, getting the most out of it that they can. And self improvement is life improvement, right?
The challenge is to figure out as many of those things as you can and to do them.
Discuss.
Just a quick thought today:
What could you do to improve your life immediately in some way, with the stipulation that a) it can't cost anything to you personally and b) you would and could actually do it and stick with it?
And I mean actually improve your life, not just something warm and fuzzy and unimportant? I know nobody really reads this outside a small circle, but just in case, please, use the comments section.
Consider this a twist on the "If you could do anything..." question. It's more of a "What can you possibly, realistically, do?" type question.
And of course, part 2 is, if you CAN think of something, why aren't you doing it yet? How do I know you aren't doing it? Well, I don't, but if it took you more than 5 seconds to pop out the answer, you probably aren't doing it.
Here's mine, sort of. I'm losing weight, and/or keeping it off. Though my day to day life doesn't REALLY feel like it is improved as a result, and I am not actually actively doing anything to make it happen (its just a result of our lifestyle which did undergo some relatively major changes since we found out Felix was coming). So, I really need to come up with some other things.
One other thing I'm doing is going to the company well and getting out as much training, etc, as I can that they will cover. This does immediately improve my life because it actually does help me do my job better and prepares me for whatever my next steps are. It also, I hope, causes my company to value me more because they are investing in me and they should be interested in protecting their investment, getting the most out of it that they can. And self improvement is life improvement, right?
The challenge is to figure out as many of those things as you can and to do them.
Discuss.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
scratch
I just deleted the post I started writing yesterday. I had good intentions but somewhere around character 3 or four it all started to go pear shaped. Rants about sub-prime mortgages, mortgagee's, corporate bailouts, financial ruination, mental duress, etc etc etc...not a very happy xmas message.
So, starting again from scratch.
The only thing I will say of a negative nature, or somewhat negative nature, or hinting upon my/our/everyone's current negative nature is from "Oh, the Places You Will Go!" by Dr. Seuss. Paraphrased, of course.
Somewhere about seven pages in he talks about when you fall from your high heights and you are left in the lurch by your cohorts.
So, we're feeling the slump. Edging towards the waiting place. We're sort of in a slump/waiting place combo-hybrid.
So, nuff about that.
Merry Xmas happy holidays, hope everyone has had an enjoyable day off from regular work, if you had one, and perhaps a long weekend to come. These next two weeks are so borderline, especially what with the possibility of long and longer weekends depending on when the big days (25th, 1st) fall on. There should be some sort of quasi-leap yearish rule that says if xmas and new years are on a Thursday, everyone just automatically gets off from the 25th to the 2nd. I mean, really. But then again...if that happened, what the hell would we all do on the 26th through the 31st with houses full guests and no place to send them out to? It'd be like some sort of holiday vacation grudge match fo some. I know that for me, going to work is an important part of maintaining my sanity. Not that I'm a work-a-holic or that I don't like my family. Of course not. But I get grumpy and antsy and crabby and listless when I don't feel great about myself, and this time of year I'm generally feeling less great about myself than usual. Its a time of year when the great juggling acts I've been performing tend to wear thin, the punchlines are already old and worn out, the balls are greasy from handling and sweat. In general, it feels like an ending without a necessarily wonderful denoument and the trailers for the coming sequel don't look like lots of fun. We'll see. But in general, I tend to get less than wonderful to be around all the time right now. But I'm trying! We're all trying.
We had a nice little gathering for NYCXMAS II, or Xmas in the 3rd year of Felix (he's 2.5625 years old). Just Felix, mama, daddy, uncle Glen. I got a Flip Mino pocket digital camcorder (yay! Andrea's dad basically read my mind) which I used to film most of Felix's gift-opening shennanigans. Felix got books and toys and musical instruments (slide whistle, kazoo), and of course (yay!) clothes. Andrea got books of various shapes and sizes right from her wishlist, so she was very happy about those too. We all had a good, small, tidy xmas. Full of wonder and possibility.
If i get approval from the chief, I may see if i can post the Felix highlight reel or perhaps host it somewhere for them that should be given access.
Happy holidays. Merry Merry.
It's hot as hell in here because Glen is doing some kitchen magic. We all look forward to that!
So, starting again from scratch.
The only thing I will say of a negative nature, or somewhat negative nature, or hinting upon my/our/everyone's current negative nature is from "Oh, the Places You Will Go!" by Dr. Seuss. Paraphrased, of course.
Somewhere about seven pages in he talks about when you fall from your high heights and you are left in the lurch by your cohorts.
You'll come down from the LurchThat's about it for me and us and etc. I am personally slumping, but only in regard to the mountain of hackenkracks looming up before me. We as a family are majorly slumping because, well, when you have big hard decisions you naturally get slumped. And of course, the whole country is in a horrible horrible slump, has been for a year or two, so that's that.
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
So, we're feeling the slump. Edging towards the waiting place. We're sort of in a slump/waiting place combo-hybrid.
So, nuff about that.
Merry Xmas happy holidays, hope everyone has had an enjoyable day off from regular work, if you had one, and perhaps a long weekend to come. These next two weeks are so borderline, especially what with the possibility of long and longer weekends depending on when the big days (25th, 1st) fall on. There should be some sort of quasi-leap yearish rule that says if xmas and new years are on a Thursday, everyone just automatically gets off from the 25th to the 2nd. I mean, really. But then again...if that happened, what the hell would we all do on the 26th through the 31st with houses full guests and no place to send them out to? It'd be like some sort of holiday vacation grudge match fo some. I know that for me, going to work is an important part of maintaining my sanity. Not that I'm a work-a-holic or that I don't like my family. Of course not. But I get grumpy and antsy and crabby and listless when I don't feel great about myself, and this time of year I'm generally feeling less great about myself than usual. Its a time of year when the great juggling acts I've been performing tend to wear thin, the punchlines are already old and worn out, the balls are greasy from handling and sweat. In general, it feels like an ending without a necessarily wonderful denoument and the trailers for the coming sequel don't look like lots of fun. We'll see. But in general, I tend to get less than wonderful to be around all the time right now. But I'm trying! We're all trying.
We had a nice little gathering for NYCXMAS II, or Xmas in the 3rd year of Felix (he's 2.5625 years old). Just Felix, mama, daddy, uncle Glen. I got a Flip Mino pocket digital camcorder (yay! Andrea's dad basically read my mind) which I used to film most of Felix's gift-opening shennanigans. Felix got books and toys and musical instruments (slide whistle, kazoo), and of course (yay!) clothes. Andrea got books of various shapes and sizes right from her wishlist, so she was very happy about those too. We all had a good, small, tidy xmas. Full of wonder and possibility.
If i get approval from the chief, I may see if i can post the Felix highlight reel or perhaps host it somewhere for them that should be given access.
Happy holidays. Merry Merry.
It's hot as hell in here because Glen is doing some kitchen magic. We all look forward to that!
Monday, December 01, 2008
It's Official
We're in a recession, have been since last December. Funny how you can't be in a recession until you log 4 quarters of decline, but once you are in recession, the past four qualifying months are retroactively designated as recession. It almost seems superstitious, like not having a 13th floor even though it is actually impossible to not have a 13th floor if you build a building with 13 floors. Sort of like, don't tell the kids and everything will be OK. Hell no it won't. We've all been watching as the economy circles the bowl for over a year. Who on earth thought, "No, just wait, its not a recession yet...just give it one more month..."
So, uh...what's happening, then...my paycheck will stay the same. It certainly shouldn't go down. Inflation is sort of a fairy tale right now. Maybe prices falling a little bit will be a good thing in the long run. Our electric bill went fro $100 to $35 between October and November and honestly, we didn't use THAT MUCH more in October. The energy prices have been falling because, you know, not so much demand for energy since all those factories and plants and offices everywhere are closing, not so many people are going to be buying utilities for their empty properties...demand goes down, prices go down. Those of us who still need it, or at least will be continuing to pay for it, will get a slight break.
We'll see. Once again, we go into the holding pattern: Have a job? Sit tight. I waited out the IT slump of the early 2000's and then took off my career development. Right now its not an IT slump yet, but we'll see. All you IT types, just focus on two things: Keep your job and make sure everyone realizes that they NEED YOU (and somehow you are saving the company money).
So, uh...what's happening, then...my paycheck will stay the same. It certainly shouldn't go down. Inflation is sort of a fairy tale right now. Maybe prices falling a little bit will be a good thing in the long run. Our electric bill went fro $100 to $35 between October and November and honestly, we didn't use THAT MUCH more in October. The energy prices have been falling because, you know, not so much demand for energy since all those factories and plants and offices everywhere are closing, not so many people are going to be buying utilities for their empty properties...demand goes down, prices go down. Those of us who still need it, or at least will be continuing to pay for it, will get a slight break.
We'll see. Once again, we go into the holding pattern: Have a job? Sit tight. I waited out the IT slump of the early 2000's and then took off my career development. Right now its not an IT slump yet, but we'll see. All you IT types, just focus on two things: Keep your job and make sure everyone realizes that they NEED YOU (and somehow you are saving the company money).
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Post Turkey Day
We had a quiet little Thanksgiving here in the great north east, a place some consider to be the center of the universe, or perhaps at the moment, a great gaping black hole that threatens to suck everyone and everything in with its financial collapse.
Regardless, we had a bountiful thanksgiving dinner. We had purchased a 13lb turkey at the farmers market. It was the smallest one they had and I don't think a single ounce was from water-injection. It was possibly the best (and continues to be on day 3 of turkey for lunch and dinner) turkey I can remember.
And life rolls on. And on.
One of our favorite sources of entertainment, bloggingheads.tv, has had more than one diavlog (its bloggingheads lingo) comment on the notions of being thankful for atheists vs. theists. Specifically, without a god to be thankful to for everything, can atheists truly be thankful, and if so, how do they do it? Well, of course we can, and both Bob Wright and George Johnson answer that question quite well, I think. Not to mention that Bob's conversation with Joel Achenbach is really fun and entertaining. But anyway.
Which brings me to another topic, often discussed amongst studies of atheism vs. theism: happiness. Some studies have shown that American atheists tend to be less happy, at least on paper, and mostly through their own reporting. I think what is more likely is that the way atheists and theists define happiness may be very different(maybe) or that perhaps atheists tend to be a bit more honest with themselves (and questionnaires) when it comes to reporting their sense of happiness. I have always felt that one of the fundamental purposes of faith is to release oneself of responsibility for certain things. If you don't know where your next meal will come from, a situation I'm sure many atheists and religiously faithful find themselves in these days, this situation causes a lot of stress. However, the atheist most likely is considering only the reality of not knowing where the meal (or money for it) may come from and so sets about it. The theist does and feels pretty much the same, but also has some extra little boost they can use when they are feeling particularly hopeless, and that is that a) God will provide or b) everything that happens is God's will. While it doesn't seem very comforting to me to consider that I'm going hungry because God planned it that way, I can see where it may reduce my stress just an eensy bit or at least my sense of personal failure or despair to feel that I am not really at fault for my predicament or for failing to find a positive outcome. So, yes, I'm hungry, but somehow its serving a higher purpose.
And if the industrious atheist and theist do find their next meals, they will both be happier for it, but the theist is happy to have a meal and also grateful to god for having provided it and thus feels more justified or assured that there is a god. Its a positive feedback loop. The atheist, most likely, is happy to be eating but pretty unhappy about being in that situation and generally feels less than happy on the whole.
This is a topic I think about quite a bit. There has also been a lot done on this (or similar) topic in general lately. There is this Slate article which refers to this Science article and this book. And it seems that bloggingheads.tv has had many people discussing the origins of morality and the misnomer that it relies upon religious belief. Surprise, it seems like morality and religion are not actually dependent upon each other at all. Or perhaps, if you've had your eyes open for the past 10,000 years, not so much of a surprise (or 6,000 years for you YECs). Why do I think about atheism so much? Well, perhaps it comes with age and becoming more self-conscious. I would hope that as humans mature they feel compelled to examine their own inner workings. Perhaps is where the mid-life crisis comes from. Having acheived some level of contentment with their lives through hard work or other means, people come to the point where they start to examine themselves. Perhaps the mid-life crisis is the result of existential upset when the examination happens or perhaps the crisis occurs as a means of running away from the examination altogether. And does the mid-life crisis require that you attain that contentment in advance of your ability to handle the introspection? Has our crashing economy, and crashing global economies in general, removed us all (except for they that already have means to pursue introspection at leisure) from the danger of facing the dreaded midlife crisis? I mean, who has time to ditch your wife and kids and buy a sports car while the economy crashes around you? Only people who don't have to worry about economy because they have enough money, I guess. So in large part, the title of my blog becomes obsolete for 99% of us (myself included).
So, hooray! We've finally done away with the scourge of the midlife crisis. Unfortunately, the solution was to replace it with something else; whole life crisis.
Regardless, we had a bountiful thanksgiving dinner. We had purchased a 13lb turkey at the farmers market. It was the smallest one they had and I don't think a single ounce was from water-injection. It was possibly the best (and continues to be on day 3 of turkey for lunch and dinner) turkey I can remember.
And life rolls on. And on.
One of our favorite sources of entertainment, bloggingheads.tv, has had more than one diavlog (its bloggingheads lingo) comment on the notions of being thankful for atheists vs. theists. Specifically, without a god to be thankful to for everything, can atheists truly be thankful, and if so, how do they do it? Well, of course we can, and both Bob Wright and George Johnson answer that question quite well, I think. Not to mention that Bob's conversation with Joel Achenbach is really fun and entertaining. But anyway.
Which brings me to another topic, often discussed amongst studies of atheism vs. theism: happiness. Some studies have shown that American atheists tend to be less happy, at least on paper, and mostly through their own reporting. I think what is more likely is that the way atheists and theists define happiness may be very different(maybe) or that perhaps atheists tend to be a bit more honest with themselves (and questionnaires) when it comes to reporting their sense of happiness. I have always felt that one of the fundamental purposes of faith is to release oneself of responsibility for certain things. If you don't know where your next meal will come from, a situation I'm sure many atheists and religiously faithful find themselves in these days, this situation causes a lot of stress. However, the atheist most likely is considering only the reality of not knowing where the meal (or money for it) may come from and so sets about it. The theist does and feels pretty much the same, but also has some extra little boost they can use when they are feeling particularly hopeless, and that is that a) God will provide or b) everything that happens is God's will. While it doesn't seem very comforting to me to consider that I'm going hungry because God planned it that way, I can see where it may reduce my stress just an eensy bit or at least my sense of personal failure or despair to feel that I am not really at fault for my predicament or for failing to find a positive outcome. So, yes, I'm hungry, but somehow its serving a higher purpose.
And if the industrious atheist and theist do find their next meals, they will both be happier for it, but the theist is happy to have a meal and also grateful to god for having provided it and thus feels more justified or assured that there is a god. Its a positive feedback loop. The atheist, most likely, is happy to be eating but pretty unhappy about being in that situation and generally feels less than happy on the whole.
This is a topic I think about quite a bit. There has also been a lot done on this (or similar) topic in general lately. There is this Slate article which refers to this Science article and this book. And it seems that bloggingheads.tv has had many people discussing the origins of morality and the misnomer that it relies upon religious belief. Surprise, it seems like morality and religion are not actually dependent upon each other at all. Or perhaps, if you've had your eyes open for the past 10,000 years, not so much of a surprise (or 6,000 years for you YECs). Why do I think about atheism so much? Well, perhaps it comes with age and becoming more self-conscious. I would hope that as humans mature they feel compelled to examine their own inner workings. Perhaps is where the mid-life crisis comes from. Having acheived some level of contentment with their lives through hard work or other means, people come to the point where they start to examine themselves. Perhaps the mid-life crisis is the result of existential upset when the examination happens or perhaps the crisis occurs as a means of running away from the examination altogether. And does the mid-life crisis require that you attain that contentment in advance of your ability to handle the introspection? Has our crashing economy, and crashing global economies in general, removed us all (except for they that already have means to pursue introspection at leisure) from the danger of facing the dreaded midlife crisis? I mean, who has time to ditch your wife and kids and buy a sports car while the economy crashes around you? Only people who don't have to worry about economy because they have enough money, I guess. So in large part, the title of my blog becomes obsolete for 99% of us (myself included).
So, hooray! We've finally done away with the scourge of the midlife crisis. Unfortunately, the solution was to replace it with something else; whole life crisis.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Big Day For real
So, I waited in line for about an hour to vote. Andrea had gotten up early and gone to vote so she wouldn't have to stay late at work. I emailed her about the lines and seeming lack of resources at the voting place (a school). She emailed me from work while I was in line, "No doubt. Make you miss Minnesota? just wait until you get to the archaic lever machine!" to which I responded "Voting at the Iron Maiden." When I finally wound my way up to the voting booth (only one per district!!! and there were 10 districts voting at this spot! wtf?!) I entered and found that I wasn't far off. A little boy and his father were ahead of me. Right before they went in the boy commented (he couldn't have been more than 5 years old, probably 4) that it looked like a giant toilet. I had to agree. After you set your levers, the voting official has to hit a silver lever on the side of the machine that looks exactly like a toilet handle. The metaphor of this official "flushing" away the previous person's vote was somewhat chilling, but then when you consider that we live in New York City, our votes are, essentially, being pissed away. I mean, Obama is a foregone conclusion in this state. But you know, you gotta do it.
I actually have the day off. My whole company if off today. That's nice. I'm taking the opportunity to get some work done :) Yeah, lately being at work is almost more distracting because there's so much going on there. Today I'm working on some development that I really have been having a hard time getting done at work. Made a lot of progress. That will let me save some boring/nuts and bolts stuff for when I am actually in the office. It has also been difficult because we've been touring preschools for Felix and sometimes we have one or two a week, which means I've taken a lot of half-days. Having that sort of break in your usual work flow can be pretty disruptive. Wish I was cutting things up because of fabulous vacations or something, but I don't see THAT happening any time soon.
So, this is my one treat, sort of. I'm taking a quick break to put a post in here.
Having election dayy off sort of sucks. We got up and voted and now its just sit and simmer and try to distract yourself with something (in my case, work) until later this evening when the real race happens. And I think it will be even worse since we're on the east coast so the final verdict, unless its a complete landslide, won't be in until like 2am? Oh well. The joys of being first. Hurry up and wait.
I actually have the day off. My whole company if off today. That's nice. I'm taking the opportunity to get some work done :) Yeah, lately being at work is almost more distracting because there's so much going on there. Today I'm working on some development that I really have been having a hard time getting done at work. Made a lot of progress. That will let me save some boring/nuts and bolts stuff for when I am actually in the office. It has also been difficult because we've been touring preschools for Felix and sometimes we have one or two a week, which means I've taken a lot of half-days. Having that sort of break in your usual work flow can be pretty disruptive. Wish I was cutting things up because of fabulous vacations or something, but I don't see THAT happening any time soon.
So, this is my one treat, sort of. I'm taking a quick break to put a post in here.
Having election dayy off sort of sucks. We got up and voted and now its just sit and simmer and try to distract yourself with something (in my case, work) until later this evening when the real race happens. And I think it will be even worse since we're on the east coast so the final verdict, unless its a complete landslide, won't be in until like 2am? Oh well. The joys of being first. Hurry up and wait.
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