september to remember

Here we are, closing out the first month of my life as a New Yorker with another relatively great week. Everyone is adjusting to their new roles and circumstances fairly well, I think. All the wonderful goodness of working for a benefits consulting firm kicks in tomorrow (that is, excellent medical and dental and all that other stuff) for employee + family, so we can start getting out teeth cleaned, fillings and prescriptions filled, Felix can get his 15 month checkup during his 15th month (assuming we can pick out a pediatrician in that short amount of time), and life can resume without that "without a net" feeling we've been having ever since I quit my last job, the prescriptions ran out, and Felix developed a runny nose.

Felix is walking, if you hadn't heard or seen the video. Actually, he's running now too. He still prefers to knee-walk or crawl depending on the terrain, but he is quickly shifting from crawling to knee walking to walk walking quite easily. Now it appears that he chooses his ambulatory style based on the intended altitude of his hands and face. If he's in the sand or grass, he stays on his knees to move fast and quickly goes ot crawling so he can see whatever is on the ground up close. If he's coving lots of territory he will stick to his knees, drop to all fours for sudden bursts of cheetah-like speed, or rise to his feet if he wants to get or grab on to something that is above his shoulder-level or above his head. I think he still finds walking completely upright to be something of a trick or a hobby; not something that you do all the time and not when you mean business. But that is slowly changing, too. He's also become a much more avid climber, if you can imagine that. His major development today was that he rose from kneeling to standing without pushing up with his hands at all. It was all leg. Kneeling to one-leg up to crouching to standing in a relatively (I expect unconscious) fluid motion. He wobbled a little at the top but then ran off in zig-zag fashion. When this kid learns how to lean into his turns we'll need to install speed bumps and edge-guards.

I had a good work week, accomplishing a relatively major task in the time allotted and also laying the groundwork for some pretty major future changes. I still really like my job and I like the people there a lot too. I'm quickly learning the pros and cons of working in a smaller company, but luckily not a tiny company. As far as size goes, we've got a pretty sophisticated operation going, IT wise.

Andrea comes home most nights glowing with what I can only describe as job satisfaction. It is something of an alien experience for her to really like, no, love her job. She often speaks of her job as a double-whammy, "Like getting paid to get a masters, that's how much I'm learning. I get master-level critiques almost every day!!!" And this whole weekend, a gorgeous indian-summer weekend in Brooklyn, Andrea keeps falling into a mystified mantra of, "Oh my god I love our neighborhood, I don't ever want to leave here." And I agree, it is very nice. One of my little refreshers after a day of work is to take Felix for a walk up and down 7th Avenue and just window shop ro pick up some odds and ends, and just be in the neighborhood. This area absolutely teems with life, with activity, but, I don't know how to describe it so much as just "the good kind." We are all very happy to be here. I know we've made some tremendous leaps and landed on some pretty amazing (and incredibly stable) ledges on the far side, so I don't expect that our story is anything but the exception to the rule. But you know, I really doubt there's a real rule. For our set of circumstances, we probably did exactly what should have been done and had exactly what should have happened happen. Life is good.

My 32nd birthday was a non-event, and as such was probably one of my most enjoyable birthdays of late. In a way, it's nice to not have a bunch of people get together or go through so much effort because then I don't feel like anyone was put out by it and also that no one felt pressure to attend, etc. It is just another way in which the distance between here and Minnesota is more than a little freeing. I don't have to worry about organizing any events and I don't have to even consider motives for people not being able to attend. Its win-win all around.

One of these days Andrea will be emailing or posting or maybe just describing, pictures of our apartment post-unpacking.

And the odd ting is, it feels like we just got here and as if we've been here forever, all at the same time, all after 30 days.

We're all liking, if not loving, our new jobs, we're collecting paychecks, we're paying bills, and Felix finally made it through a whole night in his own bed. Here's hoping for two in a row.

And now something from home:

Brooklyn's in the house!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Do you want to know what's the worst thing about semi-stupid help-desk people? They do not believe that there is anything beyond the script. Well, if i can ping your cable modem, there's NO REASON you can't get on the internet. All the right lights are blinking and all of the tests that I can run come back "normal" therefore nothing is wrong. Your inability to connect to the internet must have something to do with you not being bounced around between the local and national helpdesks enough times, or not turning the damn modem and computer off and back on in just the right sequence...or something.

Grrr. I WORK with these things, been using them for a long time, and when i tell you that the modem is not working correctly, odds are, I'M RIGHT. So tomorrow I am going to bring my supposedly perfectly working cable modem into a TimeWarner location and trading it for another perfectly working cable modem, because its impossible to get these jerkoffs to come to your house.

Luckily the phantom wireless network that was in place when we moved in is still there, still unlocked, so I can connect to TimeWarner's website to find thew phone number to call up these helpless people. And of cours,e an hour later, I can post this pissed off blog.

bday

Tomorrow is #32. I am firmly established in adulthood now, it seems.

Bloggersphere

I got to introduce myself to the rest of the IT at today's staff meeting. Other points of note, we're looking at starting our own company "blog" and just "three years behind everyone else." (not my words) Heh, its a fun place. I like it.

Got email from our agent and the house situation is starting to sound a little better, just not better enough. Not yet, anyway.

Also got email from Mom, a internet junk mail about a little kid's school essay about why he believes in God. I responded back...twice. Hope it doesn't come off too snidely...I'm just a little worn out with it. Richard Dawkins may be an asshole when it comes to his rabid attacks on religion, but he makes a very good point. Why should people's religions be held in greater esteem than other aspects of their personal lives? You can joke around about all sorts of things, but don't mess with a person's religious beliefs, their convictions. Oh no, not that! Even if they believe a DIFFERENT religion, you should still respect that. Yeah? Then why not respect a woman's right to have an abortion? I don't mean her legal right, I mean her belief in it. That's just like religion. It's something she believes without any real factual basis, just something she knows because maybe someone told her and it seemed right to her. Or how about respecting a religion where the women are mutilated so as not to experience pleasure from the acts of sex? It's just as valid a religion as the rest of them, but somehow the fact that some part of it is so distasteful that it overrules the sacred protection that religion gets as part of the social contract. And don't get me started on the gays. You can honestly say, with a straight face, that you can respect Mohammed Jihadmiester's personal belief in Islam but somehow Adam and Steve are an abomination because they want to live together for the rest of their lives and keep each other company and happy, just like Merle and Edie have been doing for thousands of years? Gimme a break. Hate-crime laws and legalized gay marriage, that's the real war on terror.

I appreciate the crazy street preachers and the mad dog fundamentalists because at least with them you are allowed to view religion in the proper context.

Rock

Well, another good day at work. For both Andrea and I. As we all knew and expected, Andrea really likes her new job, her new employers, and her new home. I feel the same way. I imagine that given the opportunity, we'd both stay at our respective jobs much longer than we're expected to stay. But Felix gives us both reason to return home. I know what you're all thinking, "Don't you want to see each other?" But we don't need to go home for that. During lunch I hopped on the six and met Andrea at her new studio. We walked a few blocks away and sat on a bench and ate our sandwiches together. When she works during the day, Andrea learns something that I've known all along; you really come to look forward to and enjoy your time with your kids when you spend most of their waking hours at work. Tonight Andrea gave Felix his bath because she wanted to get more quality time with him. I usually give him his baths (not always, but more often than not) but I know what she's talking about. We've been giving him baths almost every night since his new favorite thing to do is rub his dinner into his eyes and hair. You just can't clean that up with a paper towel or a wash cloth. Doing that only cleans the surface and makes his hair start to smell like sour milk the next day.

All in all, life is good.

Mondays

Heh, not the "I hate Mondays" type of post that usually bears this type of title. In fact, I am looking forward to Monday. My first Monday at my new job. Not that Mondays are any different from any other day at the office, but for me, it is the signifier of my first complete week at work. And I hope to make some real traction on my new work load. I have ideas and I'm going to be able to work on them, for real! I asked my boss last week about current processes, etc, and he said, "My only requirement is that it works, doesn't break anything, and doesn't make it more difficult for anyone else. Otherwise, go for it...but run it by me first." Of course. But, yee-haw!

Ok ok ok. But yes, it is nice to be looking forward to going to work in the morning.

day too

So here we are on our 2nd full day of NYCitizenship. Something I have noticed is that a LOT of the people who go walking or walk their dogs in the morning wear shirts that have NYC bradning or logos of some sort or another. Makes me wonder if they are tourists who converted to residents and just never gave up their souvenir shop wardrobes or maybe these shirts are their grubby-grungy-don't-care-about-it clothes. I don't know. I just always find it strange when you are at a place and you see people wearing shirts that reference that place (unless it's supposed to be ironic). Like, there's a shop just down the street that sells nothing but Brooklyn apparel. I get it, but I imagined it is for people to gear up before going abroad, not to wear Brooklyn across their chests while actually being IN Brooklyn. You know, like the line from PCU: "You're wearing the shirt of the band to the show? Don't be that guy."

Anyway, again, the morning ritual has played itself out: Felix gets up early, gets Andrea and I up, I get dressed, pack him in the stroller, go get coffee, and off we go for our walk. I decided to not go the same way I went yesterday and explore the park more. That is on damn big park. We walked along the path the went south, then cut over to the walking path on the side of the parkway. The road slopes down and to the east, eventually bottoming out at the lake at the southern end of the park. And I mean lake, like a real lake, not like the pond at Powderhorn. We looked at the ducks then headed along another path back north up into what I expect was more the middle of the park. We came across more open areas where people were letting their dogs run. Felix was getting bored and tired (I wasn't letting him out of the stroller because the grass was still wet with dew...and I'm a little paranoid about all the dogs) so we headed back west eventually. Under a tunnel and then out the other side I could hear water rushing. It was "The Ravine" where Felix and I had walked yesterday. We came out into familiar open area and went past the dog beach, through the park, and then home. Felix was revved up at home and wanted to play. I finally got him down for a nap, at which everyone else who was awake went back to bed to try and get more sleep (except me).

Last night we put a dent in the unpacking process. We didn't unpack so much as move things around to free up a lot of the space we'd been hogging with poorly situated furniture and boxes. ALso, yesterday I put together our new bed from IKEA. Today I will finish it up by assembling the drawers that go in its base. I also assembled Andrea's desk and moved all of our various shelving units around to get them out of the way. We now seem to have some living space, and I imagine it will only get better as we get things put away. Andrea and Glen are trying to get the kitchen in order, contact papering the cabinets and drawers so we can put our flatware, dishware, and food away. I can't wait till the kitchen is up and running. There's so many options for eating out, but it really does get tiresome. It will be nice to get back to some of our standard home cooking. We need to do a grocery shopping trip, for real.

Tomorrow is my first day at my new job. I'm a little nervous, as I guess is to be expected. I mean, you interview, you talk to the people, you get a job description, etc., but you never really know what its going to be like until you get there and get started. And, of course, just like in Minneapolis, going to work will be a sort of escape from home. I'll have my morning and evening commutes, but while I'm at work, I'm not thinking of home things. It will be nice to get back to the technical side of my life. For the past weeks I've been locked in non-technical mover/builder/packer/unpacker/stacker/mechanical mode.

And I'm sure I'll be sopping up the remnants of the address fiasco for a couple more days, but all in all, things are looking pretty good. We only have a short list of things for the landlord to fix/get fixed/reimburse us for fixing. I don't know that he did much of a run-through for the previous tenants. They cleared their stuff out and they did a little paint touch up here and there but it doesn't seem that they cleaned very much. Or perhaps they just assumed we'd be repainting. But there are a few doozies, like the doorknob (or lack thereof) on the bathroom door.

nycyoulater

Well, we have made it. All of our stuff is up the 3 flights of narrow stairs and we officially "moved in". I expect we'll be unpacked in time for spring cleaning.

My dad and I drove the big yellow truck cross-country and met up with Andrea, Felix, and Glen who stayed behind to close up shop and then flew out here on Saturday. I think it is safe to say that they had the harder time of it, living without furniture or regular conveniences while trying to manage a baby and a full schedule of house cleaning. Felix came through it OK I think though he put some serious wear and tear on Glen and Andrea who were like zombies when we met them at the apartment. I had it much easier by far. My only difficulty was trying to keep my ass from going numb or my neck from getting sore during the bumpy bouncy ride, or trying to keep my armsa and legs from freezing solid from the arctic wind coming from the AC for 1200 miles. We had beds (or couches) to sleep in every night and wireless internet too. We stopped for meals at rather regular intervals, had a bag full of goodies to munch between meals. The sound system in the truck was fu so we attempted to listen to an audio book for ab out 5 minutes before giving up, same with the radio on the next day. All in all, the drive was not too bad. Dad drove day 1 and 3 and I drove day 2. I think the unloading was a lot harder than the driving, for sure. I wish we had chloroformed and packed up a couple of our truck-loading helpers. Hey, free trip to nyc.

So, with wireless internet at each evening stop I had high hopes of blogging the trip as a serial. We can all see how that ended up. The first night we got in at about 2am. That was in Toledo at grandma's house. The second night we arrived at the Days Inn in the Poconos at about 11pm, but the "wandering wifi" was so damn slow it was painful to use. We finally arrived in Park Slope at about 2pm. Our internet isn't getting installed until the 6th, but luckily someone nearby has left their wireless open with no encryption. I think it's OK for me to borrow it for the next couple days so long as we don't do anything bandwidth intensive like downloading shows. The Tea Lounge just down the street also has free wifi.

So, this morning Felix was ready to go at 7:30am. He was probably ready much sooner but I wasn't. Andrea is still trying to regain her sanity from three days of sleep deprivation. I packed Felix into his stroller and off we went in search of my Sunday morning cup of coffee. First we went to one of the gazillion little grocery markets near our house and bought some Felix necessities so we could easily feed him through out the day as well as a couple odds and ends for the rest of us. It's great having all these little markets but we need to find a bigger grocery store that offers better prices. There are a couple that are a little further away (haven't checked prices yet). The little places are great when you need something quick, but not what we should be using for daily or weekly shopping trips. Anywhoo, we loaded the groceries into the stroller and one bag around my wrist, walked for ab out 5 blocks back past our street and found as place thats open 24hrs (remember, its 7ish on a Sunday/holiday weekend) and got me a large coffee. I think it was $1.25. Not bad. Caffeine in hand, and Felix happily munching on a banana (then a nectarine), we headed on our real walk. We went back up our street, past our house, and on to Prospect Park, which is a block and a half away from us. Walking through the park, it looked like there had been some serious partyin there last night and a lot of the guests were still there! Seemed strange. Then I realized what was going on. This is Sunday before Labor Day. I'm sure that there were lots of people grilling out in the park yesterday and the people I was seeing this morning were staking their claims on the BBQ grills for today's grilling. See, grilling is only allowed in specific areas of the park. We walked on, further into the park.

Nearer the middle of the park is a huge open area with rolling berms and slopes. The park was covered in dogs. Ah, the Sunday morning dog people were out and their dogs were mostly running free. Coffees in hand, poop-baggie dispensers at the ready, the dog people of Brooklyn were letting the dogs out in force. Everyone was very well behaved. Those are the two things you see all over Park Slope: Babies in strollers and well behaved dogs. Back to the park. There is some water at the park, some ponds and streams. At one of the ponds there is a fence or gate the runs out into the water, creating a small dog beach and swimming area. Wet, well behaved, dogs.

We walked around a bit, saw some of the waterfalls Glen had mentioned yesterday, and headed home. Felix was asleep by the time we reached our front stoop and covered in nectarine pulp. I was tempted to leave him there so I could bring in the groceries but instead I just left the stroller. On my way back up with the stroller and Felix we ran into our downstairs neighbor, whose name just so happens to be Felix too. He has a daughter that I think is a little younger than our Felix. We said good morning and he said, "How was your first night in New York?" "Oh, it was OK, I think." "What about this little guy?" "You didn't hear him?" "Thick walls," he said with a big grin. I guess so. You probably only hear him crying if you are on our level or perhaps if you are outside and the window is open.

Back up in our apartment, the place is a disaster, but a sort of nicely controlled one. Everyone else is still in bed. I cleaned Felix up and after he played around for a while I was able to put him down for his nap. Finally, he's able to get a regular nap.

My dad seems to have taken well to the neighborhood. He said, "Some part of me envies you living here." "Yeah," I said, "the part that doesn;t have to carry furniture up 3 flights of stairs." Actually we weren't too rough on him. He mostly stayed in the back of the truck and handed stuff down to us, only being pulled in for heavy heavy lifting when he, Glen, and I carried the credenza up. It was heavy, but not nearly as difficult as we thought it would be. It turns out the most fearsome furniture we moved up was the queen mattress, which I had to use brute force to bend in unnatural ways to get it up the last flight of stairs. As I described it to my dad, we had to "taco" it. Never miss the opportunity to use the word taco as a verb.

So we are effectively moved in. All we need to do now is get our essentials unpacked and situated and then set about arranging and decorating, etc.

I think dad really likes it here, except for all of the walking. Apparently his hips give him trouble when he walks too far.

We are now New Yorkers. Even dad, who is an honorary New Yorker since he seems to enjoy sitting out on the stoop and watching people go by.

Today has started out fairly well.

big-ticket

So, we got the new title for the car in record time and within 30 minutes of getting it I have started the process to donate it. One more large loose end tied up.

Just got one thing left...

its in his head

Well, we have seen proof that the only thing keeping Felix from walking is his own personal/mental/intellectual reason. He has been practicing standing on his own quite a bit lately, and every time we go to the library he sees other kids who are around his age or older and sees them running, walking, standing. Every time we come home from the library, he seems to want to try out what he's seen. Last night he looked like he was really trying to walk. This morning while he was playing, he was standing by the couch, holding on with his hand for moral support, when a garbage truck pulled into the alley. Felix is fascinated by garbage trucks in the same way people are fascinated by sharks and bears and tigers: awed, amazed, curious, and a little scared. Anyway, when he heard the garbage truck's tri-tone back-up alarm, he looked up and out the window and without even hesitating walked two steps unassisted, through open air, and put his hand on the coffee table for the last few steps to the window before pressing his face to the glass and trying to see the elusive garbage truck. Andrea was laying on the couch, uncharacteristically partaking of mine and Felix's morning ritual, and i was sitting on the bottom of the stairs. We both looked at each other in astonishment. There was no warning, no wobbly baby-stepping, just, "What's that? I'm going over there NOW!" regular, confident, unconscious walking. Andrea and I immediately clobbered each other in the middle of the living room floor, saying, "Did you see that?! He walked!" and hugs and kisses and the happy random tear, all the while Felix looked out the window and then at us as if to say, "What are you guys making all that noise about? Can't you see there's a garbage truck out there?"

afterthought

Oh yeah. I guess i haven't explicitly mentioned it since Monday (though I maybe mentioned it in passing the other night) but I did get the offer from the company I wanted to work for on Tuesday morning right as I got off the plane and I accepted. So, I think I said I wasn't stressed out anymore since our living arrangements have been solidified and our working arrangements have been solidified, but that's the deal. I got the offer from the company in midtown Manhattan as a "network engineer" though I'll actually be the SMS engineer and application packaging expert. Since the company is only about 1000 employees and the IT is something like 30-40 people, I'll get to get my feet wet in all kinds of other areas. It sounds like its going to be a lot of fun and a very good job for me. I turned down the higher paying consulting job on Long Island for this job. In a way, I did the same thing Andrea did: I picked the job I knew I would really enjoy and grow in, not the one that offered the most money or the shiniest carrot. It really is astonishing how quickly all of these things have fallen into place. From everything I read and hear (even from our new landlord) our experience relocating to New York is incredibly unique and definitely the exception to the rule. In the same regard, I would say, hey, look at us, we're not magical wand-waving wizards making this happen. We aren't even religious and don't attribute any of this success to any external origins like karma, kismet, god, or luck. I guess "luck" in so far as it represents favorable coincidence or circumstance allowing for a less probable positive outcome. I'm sure I'll hear from my mom because she's been praying for us this whole time and may be a bit miffed that I'm disputing the impact that might have had on our outcome...sorry mom, no offense meant. But thanks for thinking of us! It's always nice to know that people are concerned with how things are going. As a material humanist my tongue in cheek response to "I'm praying for you" would be "I'd prefer money." Of course I wouldn't say that to my mom. My parents are retired, after all...

OK, so before this spins off into a philosophical monologue, I'll just say: Got the job, got the apartment, got the nanny, got it all! Just gotta get the house sold.

obligatory

yes, I'm up and its almost midnight so here's the obligatory post.

It is very very odd, this stretch of time I find myself in. Andrea and I are both home all day (meaning, not at work) but we're not fretting about finding work, finding a place to live, or anything. Andrea is focused on what to do to get ready for the move. I'm doing whatever she says she needs me to do. Sure, I have a few of my own things to do, but my major stresses are out of the picture. The house, well, the house. I'm cashing out my 401K (oh no, they all groan in chorus) which should pay for the mortgage until the house sells, or even allow us to help the house sell sooner. Once I'm looking at paying the mortgage AND rent AND bills out of my salary alone, THEN I'll get stressed about the house. But for now I'm in this weird place where I'm not on vacation, but I'm not working, and I'm not freaked out. It's really weird, but in a good sort of way.

Its like a never ending stream of saturdays and sundays, which is really weird in itself, but which also does things to your mind. I'm losing track of what day it is. The largest unit of time I can really remember is an hour. You go beyon hours and I just don't know what you're talking about. Today and tomorrow is about as concrete as I can fathom. Was today Tuesday or Wednesday? I think it was Thursday, actually. Seriously. I've been doing my Saturday schedule for several days now, and enjoying it. Will I be able to adjust to going to work? Is this what a vacation feels like?

I spend the mornings with Felix, playing in the park...he's just about to start walking. I can see he's starting to try.

I have started making breakfasts and lunches and dinners...

I don't know how to explain it...on the one hand I feel like i have tons of time, on the other hand, I don't really have any free time for leisure. This few chunks of time I've grabbed tonight are sort of fluky. I htink it seems like i had time tonight because I was doing something that didn't require much thought and i was able to double up tasks. We're manually destroying all of our old records and paperwork that we've accumulated in our filing cabinet, retaining only what we decide is actually useful.

Honestly, I don't know why you are supposed to save all your utility bills and pay stubs and bank statements. Maybe the last years worth, but all of them? We have a wooden filing cabinet that is packed full of papers...most we never even look at again but are stashing away because we think we're supposed to. So now we're going back through them all and blacking out vital info with a sharpie and then shredding the pages (by hand so far, poor andrea). I mean, seriously, why take all of that with us? Is it necessary? It hasn't been so far.

I got William Gibson's new book from the library....had it sitting on my dresser for two days now...and I'm worried I'm not even going to get to read it because I don't have all of those idle chunks of time that you have when you're in the midst of a normal life. No bus rides to work, no lazy afternoons...every moment seems to be full of something. I'm actually sort of disappointed that these few moments I have I'm writing here instead of opening that book. I guess I'll have plenty of time for stuff like that once life resumes. Subways and lunch breaks and weekends during nap time. Those things will all resume at some point in the not so distant future. Right now feels like...hang time. Slow motion. Like pollen drifting through a sunbeam.

shazaam!

Somehow, I think we've actually managed to pull it off. This morning I signed a lease and put down security deposit and first month rent on a beautiful 2 bedroom in thhe heart of Park Slope. Incidentally, it was the only apartment we actually managed to see over the weekend (that's a WHOLE long tale I won't get into right now). We LUCKED OUT, big time. I think what it came down to was that the owner met all of us, saw how determined we were to move, got a good feeling for us, and decided we were the type of people he wanted as neighbors. Seriously, I'm sure other people looking at the place might have had higher paying salaries or better credit (than me, andrea and glen have good credit). Whatever the case, we made a very good impression and they liked us. So I secured the deal this morning before going out to my two interviews. The resul of those is that I am almost guaranteed a job I really think I'm going to love with people I can really get along with in a convenient place (midtown Manhattan)...they just need to pow wow tomorrow morning and contact the placement agency with their offer, which I no-doubt will accept. And that, as they say, will be that. In a matter of days we'll have tied up all of the most crusial loose ends and my world will once again be returned to a state of sanity. I think I've lost 10 lbs during this trip from all the hiking and lifting of Felix's stroller going up and down to the supways and such. No wonder new yorkers aren't fat!

pocket blog

ok... i've been living on my pocket pc while in new york, which is a real bitch for writing emails and blog entries. I have several in progress and several in planning but you're going to have to wait. this entry took 3 minutes to write.

no vacation

It's quarter past five in the a.m. and everybody but me is at the airport trying to get their flight home. My stay in ny has been extended for a number of reasons, not least including job interviews and apartment hunting. Needless to say, both avenues have been both reassuring and stressful. Both fronts have wonderful opportunity but also require us to just wait. And they're all timed wrong. The apartment rests solely on whether or not the financial figures work out. The jobs both hinge on my interviews on monday. It would be so much easier to land the apartment if my job was nailed down. sigh...

so the title comes from a conversation with Andrea. When telling people that we're moving to new york, a common response is, "I love visiting new york but i wouldn't want to live there." Well, when I compare my experiences in new york, including the two times I came out here to visit Andrea during her internship and now this past week, I agree with Andrea's assessment that people have it all wrong. Visiting New York would not be what we consider a vacation. The reason being that you need to put so much time and effort into planning out your trips into the city that it could hardly be relaxing. You see the droves of tourists coursing from the WTC station out and up top China town and you just think, "i would hate to spend my free time trying to pack all of that into a short trip." If you mess up one of your subways or connections, you could end up way way way off course and with tons of stress. New York would be a very stressful vacation, think, unless you are throwing a lot of money down the tube and staying at a hotel in manhattan and using taxis to get all around. Otherwise, all that walking and hauling your shit around, with no place to sit or pee...does not sound like a vacation to me! I'd rather live here an have my own relative homebases like a place of work, a home to go home to at the end of the day, maybe a frequent hangout, a place to really rest up for real. I have not been here on vacation by any stretch of the imagination, but I have had to get all over and let me tell you, I'm beat!

sleepless in minapple

Yeah, when she sees this I'm sure Andrea will ill me, but what the hell. If she is asleep right now, it is only because her body has shut down. SHe said she couldn't sleep at all last night. Well, I slept fitfully last night and tonight I'm wide awake. So I'm tootling around the house, trying to do little things here and there to ease our transition. We fly out to NY tonight on a 6:55p flight, but travelling with Felix, we're going to try to get to the airport at about 4pm. We will arrive in NY around 10 something local time. No idea what shape Felix will be in. Then we hightail it over to Jersey City to crash at Ally and Mushi's. Then we have to be up at the crack of dawn. I have a round of interviews starting at 9am in midtown Manhattan, Andrea has a tour of a daycare, I have another interview at 1:30pm in midtown, Andrea wants to stop in at the studio and get her paper-work started as well as pick up her check for the freelance she did and her letter of employment, then we are camping out in a park to interview nannies. All this time, Glen will be interviewing at various restaurants. Friday we have another daycare tour and more nanny interviews. Saturday is designated as our day to go to open houses or visit apartments and try to get one secured. Sunday, Andrea, Felix, and Glen probably fly home in the early morning. I will stick around for an interview on Monday out on Long Island. Between now and then, we may all add interviews on any given day...this trip will be packed.

Somewhere in there we have to eat, let Felix stretch his legs, sleep, get Felix some naps, and try to keep from losing our minds.

So, here's the tag line for this particular NYC full length feature:

One apartment, Marry Poppins, two jobs...can you find all fo these in New York City in three days? You'll find out soon enough!

yes no maybe NOT

Wow. SO now I'm like, unemployed. It feels very weird, very scary. I think its scary because I have no idea how long my hang-time is going to be. The deal with going right back to work with my previous employer is all but off the table since they discovered (rather late in the game) that they did not need our direct VP's approval (my boss's boss's boss's boss's boss) but actually the "pyramid executive" which turns out to be the CIO. So...yeah. While everyone was all confident that they'd make it happen, slam dunk, etc, now they're all "Oh, gee...I dunno if we can really make a good case to her..." Wtf? It's the same damn case, isn't it? Or maybe its just too embarrasing or something, to admit that you have a little team somewhere that relies on a small handful of people to keep things not only running from day to day, but keep things moving forward. I have no doubt that my old team can keep chugging along pushing their buttons and accomplishing their day to day work without me. But what they'll find is that not much new happens. Anything new that happens will come from outside of the team, and let me tell you, it sucks a huge load to have someone external to your team start calling the shots. But, you know, I've been saying half jokingly that once I'm gone the team will be dissolved and the functions will be dispersed to various similar type teams. I actually sort of left a proposal for just that in my last project update.

Who knows. Maybe when my old new boss gets back from vacation he'll decide he really REALLY needs me back (but I really don't think so) and I'll get that phone call.

Here's the part that I hate, though. I have my next paycheck coming up which will be a full pay period worth of pay PLUS about 6 weeks of vacation paid out. Then, somewhere from 2 to 3 weeks after that I can cash out my 401K which will be another nice lump sum (side not: everyone groans and says "Oh, you get nailed on that cash out, though, ugh, its horrible! Don't do that...") but you know, for me the 401K is a lot like a tax refund. Even though I always kept tabs on it and sometimes adjusted my contributions or the way it was "invested", that steadily growing number was more like a video game score, not like real money, because it wasn't connected directly to my day-to-day well being. On the one hand, yes, it sucks that I'm going to lose thousands of dollars by cashing it out and I will effectively have to start from scratch with my retirement savings. But those are all things that I don't really feel right now. Even at a number somwhat less than that arcade score I've been monitoring, it'll be like real net positive cash flow that will be desperately needed even if I don't start working immediately. So, in the next month or so I will actually have a lot MORE money on hand than usual specifically because I left my job. Bit it doesn't feel like that's real, either, until it happens.

And of course we also have special circumstances all around that make that infusion of cash no longer a luxury, but a necessity. So, while I'm quite used to and capable of floating through the second week between paychecks on a couple hundred bucks, it feels a lot different when in the middle of that week we're taking a trip and will need to have money at our disposal for traveling expenses. And of course we'll need to put down a hunk of cash for an apartment which could eat up all of my vacation and some of my regular pay, and then there's moving costs, which is going to be a couple grand, and of course we'll have to keep paying the mortgage until the house sells... so, even with large than usual amounts of money flowing in, we're still doing a delicate dangerous balancing act. And even if its not as bad as I'm making it out to be, the point is that it FEELS that way. This stands to be our most tense and stressful month yet.

And to make it worse, I'm now without many of the resources I'm used to having at my disposal, like decent laptop computers, access to almost any computer-related or business-related book for free (books 24x7 is one of the great untapped benefits at my preious employer. I used to tap it all the time), health insurance, dental, prescription...sigh. There are so many things we probably should have made sure we did first, like get a 3 month supply of prescriptions, any last checkups or things.

Sigh.
Felix calls. I have to go.
Good luck.
Send money.

major tom

So I handed in my official resignation at work. My official last day is this coming Friday. So, what to do? Well, its sounding like I'm probably going to go right back to work in nearly the same job but as an independent contractor. This works great for me because it gives me a stead ypaycheck until I find work in new York. It also allows me to continue working on and hopefully transitioning some of my current projects rather than have them die on the vine. There's only so much you can do with documentation, after all. So, counting down... of course the contracting thing is not a done deal by any stretch of the imagination, so I can't go counting on that cash flow just yet.

On top of that, as soon as my new boss came up with the contracting as an option I got a response and subsequently had a phone interview with a game design company in New York who is looking for someone like me to be their IT infrastructure guy. I'm just afraid I scared them away with my suggested salary requirement. Have not heard from them in over a week now. We'll see what develops there. I'd like to work for them, but since its a smaller shop than I'm used to (30 full time staff vs. the bajillions of people working at my current company) they might not even be able to offer a competitive salary in my range. I mean, I can mae a super great case but if they just can't afford it, they can't afford it. I just hope they come back to the table.

Today we had our first open house and it sounds like a few people came and there is at least THAT much interest. No telling how much is just people who like going to open houses for recreation. Hopefully something will come out of it. We got out of the house and took Andrea's dad to lunch and afterwards Andrea, her brother, Felix and I all went to the beach for a couple hours. The first time Felix went to the beach he was content to stay in the very very shallow water and play in the wet sand or ty to bury our blanket. This time he had a great time being carried into the deeper water (only up to my waist) by mom and dad and splash around. I spent most of the time crouched so the water was up to my shoulders/his middle. He played around with us in the water quite a bit. As scared of water as I was as a kid, I'm very conscious of doing things that might freak him out. I'd like to avoid giving him that sort of negative experience. I don't know where my initial fears of deep water came from, but as a result I did get dunked by more than one swimming instructor. Looking back, I realize they were probably jr. high kids or high school kids working a summer job, but back then I thought they were adults, so it was a very damaging experience for me. Anyway, Felix is such a physical kid that I don't want to prematurely turn him off of any avenues for expending his energy.

And in two weeks we fly out to NY to look for apartments, nannies, jobs, etc.

birthday massacre

Saturday we had Felix's birthday party and family and friends were there at the park for grilling and food and a pinata. I haven't been to aikido classes in almost a year but I pulled out my trusty jo and the kids had at the pinata with it. Unfortunately it was so solidly constructed that even after knocking the legs off it's main candy cargo compartment there was no sign of the prizes within. Finally I stepped in (the kids were getting TIRED from beating on this thing) and delivered a standard body strike (I think I executed with decent form) and the anticipated candy explosion finally happened. Suddenly the kids were no longer tired but were anxiously scrabbling around on the ground for the brightly wrapped sugar bombs.

The weather was perfect - mid 80s, breezy, no rain.

And we managed to give back almost all of the remaining baby stuff; good luck to you all planning on having another baby!

I got a little burned on the back of my neck, legs, and arms. Felix did not get burned. He does, however, have a farmer's tan, just like his dad :)

Today we took Felix for his 1-yr dr. appointment with vaccinations and blood labs. ugh. It turns out he's only 20.45lbs (only about 1 pound, or a little over 1 pound since his 6 months appt.) which puts him in the 16th percentile for weight. The doctor said, "well, we expect the weight gain to drop around this time because he's so active...what kind of milk is he drinking?" and I'm like, "Uh...breast milk...what else would he be drinking? He drinks a lot of water." "You should start him on whole cows milk now. How much water is he drinking? You can just give him whole milk from now on." I made a joke, "No skim milk for you,k kiddo!" and she said something like, "Yes, you'll have to get different milks now. Most parents are happy once they can finally giove the baby the family milk...What do you drink now?" to which I repsonded, "We don't drink milk...but I guess we'll start buying it now. He has had soymilk a few timesa and he likes that, but there's sugar in it, so he doesn't get much."

Apparently she thinks he isn't putting on weight because he's very active and because we are not giving him a steady diet of cow milk and sugary juices. He eats fruit, veggies, meats, breads, and yogurt by the ton (and poops it by the half-ton), so I don't know that he's really under weight. I was a little surprised that he only gained about a pound, but then again, he has gone from barely crawling at 6 months to full-on monkey status (crawling, rolling, hopping, climbing, swinging...just not walking upright) at 1 year. He sure seems bigger. Jus tyesterday after his bath I was holding him up in front of the full-length mirror and for the first time realized how long his legs are. You don't notice so much when he's clothed and playing because his knees are always bent and he has pants and diaper, and all his gear on, but seeing him all straightened out, the kid has looong legs. His legs are as long as his head and torso together, it seems like. But he's only in the 30 something percentile for height, I think. So who knows. I still think that these percentile scores aren't necessarily a good developmental judgement considering how obese Americans, and American children specifically, are these days. Are these global scores or just American scores? And wouldn't it make more sense to have height, weight, and head circumference correlated and maybe combined into a single score? I mean, what does it say, developmentally? If you are just looking for tracking your single child's development, what's the point in comparing it to other kids? I guess after reading/listening to Freakanomics I question the usefulness of these % scores. I mean, they never really tell us what they mean or what they are deducing from them, or even if those deductions are actually logical. What's to say that Felix isn't in the 16th percentile in weight for his age because most kids between 6 amd 12 months put on a lot of weight due to their parents starting to feed them "adult" foods like Big Macs and Coca Cola? And Juice...my god, juice...sugar water.

One of the gifts Felix got was an electronic talking nursery rhymes book, which had your standard marketing on it, pictures of a right-aged child using said toy. On this box the child was obese, I mean like puffy, drooping cheeks, porcine, obese. The kid didn't even look happy. It was shocking. That was the model that the advertising people put on this product. I wonder if that's what they thought represented the "everychild". I wonder if they did research and found that that model DID represent the everychild. What does that say about the usefulness of the growth percentiles?

Anyway, on to the massacre...pinata massacre on Saturday, Felix massacre on Monday morning. After getting his three immunizations, which was heart wrenching, we took him up to the lab where they drew blood. On children, they draw blood by pricking their finger with a lancet and then milking wound into little vials. So, Felix is sitting on my lap and I'm holding him still and the lab tech pierces his finger then starts sopping up the blood with an alcohol nap, probably to keep him from clotting, and then proceeds to squeeze his finger and scrape it with these little plastic vials. She finishes up with this first vial and then, trying to cap it with the same hand, slips and tosses the entire vial of blood on my shirt, face, and pants. I was less upset about the blood on my clothes than I was about the fact that she had just wasted a vial of Felix's blood and would now have to do it again, prolonging his agony (and it was agony, believe me). Poor little guy. We left looking like there had been a massacre. I went hime to change my shirt instead of being dropped off at work, so I was an hour later than I had planned on. Poor Felix.
Happy Birthday little guy...

sale sale sale

Ok, so we survived the yard sale and came out OK. We moved a ton of stuff and still had some stuff left over. I got rid of 75% of my assorted computer gizmos and related junk. I haven't had time to tinker with any of the less than 100% complete computers in years anyway. Some people got some good goddamn deals, I tell ya.

And, to top it off, we put an add on Craigslist saying that we would have leftovers for free affter the sale. Let me tell you...it was like out of a movie. 4:30pm rolled up on us like the fuzz busting a good old whorehouse. Cars skidding to a halt and people rushing up and grabbing whatever they could get their hands on. Andrea says, "everything on that table is free." and heads inside and I stop her and ask, "Are we giving the table away for free?" "What? NO." "Well, then I think we better get it inside."

Sure enough, within about 10 minutes only the most despicable dregs of our sale were left on the boulevard. I chucked that stuff into the dumpster an hour later.

And tonight we signed on the dotted line to put our house on the market. Go baby go.

Tomorrow I think I will and in my notice at work. So much is happening in such a compressed amount of time. It is a truly bizarre space to be in. When I'm at work all i can do is look for another job. When I'm home, all i can do is think about work and all the stuff I'd like to accomplish or wrap up before I'm gone. It's weird to consider that I will possibly be unemployed for a period of time. How weird and scary is that? If things work out in a particular order, we could be homeless as well (although that would actually be a GOOD thing).

In a way, it would be really nice if we were just able to cut ties and make the leap to NY. The only real anchor is the house. If I didn't have that mortgage to worry about, we could just pull up stakes and go. Sigh. On the up side, 1 way airline tickets are pretty cheap if you buy them a couple weeks in advance. Obviously round-trip is cheaper if you know your return date and buy with similar lead time, but in the event that I have t fly out to NY early, or if I stay longer and then flay back here at a different date...

Who knows. details details. I don't like the idea of splitting the family up if its not absolutely necessary.